Frequently Asked Questions on Sleep answered by Gina

These questions and answers are taken from The New Contented Little Baby Book and The Complete Sleep Guide.

Gina's Useful articles on Sleep

Second and third children are much more likely to catch colds early. Usually they pick them up from an older sibling who I at nursery school, and disruptive nights are inevitable. A baby with a cold can get very distressed as she will not have learned to breath through her mouth.
Do take Susannah to the doctor when she is unwell. Many mothers delay this as they don’t want to appear neurotic to their GPs, but many a chest infection could be avoided if a doctor seems the baby soon after she becomes ill. Follow your doctor’s instructions to the letter, especially about feeding. You may be advised to give extra fluids to avoid dehydration.
A sick baby needs more rest than a healthy baby. In the evening and during the night, attention should be given calmly and quietly. Try to avoid visitors and much activity during the evening and let your baby get the sleep she needs.
You might find it less disruptive to the rest of the family if you sleep in the same room as the baby. If she is waking several times during the night you will be able to attend to her quickly without waking your older daughter.

This is a common problem and you need first to eliminate hunger as a reason. He should be having three good, solid meals a day and three milk feeds (totalling a minimum of 18-20oz). Check he is having a good balance of protein, carbohydrates, fruit and vegetables. Ask your health visitor or GP if you are in any doubt.
Once you’ve established that he is not waking early because of hunger, you need to look at the structure of his daytime sleep. A baby of this age waking at 7am should be able to go until 9.30am before his morning nap. Your son needs to go sooner because he is waking earlier and the vicious circle you describe emerges. Try to move his morning nap further forward by 5 minutes every couple of days and limit it to 30-40 minutes. He will then be ready for his long lunchtime sleep later on. This should be happening at 12.30pm/1pm by now. Babies of this age often drop their afternoon nap so it’s essential that they have one long sleep of 2 hours at lunchtime. Getting the morning and lunchtime naps working should ensure early waking stops.
Check that thirst isn’t stopping him going down well at lunchtime by offering him a small drink of milk, water or well-diluted juice before he goes down.

She is most likely crying because she has pulled herself up to a standing position and can’t get herself back again. You need to teach her how to do this. When you settle her down at 7pm, put her in her cot standing up then show her how to lower herself down to whatever sleeping position she prefers. As she gets the hang of this, reduce the amount of help until she realises that she can do it by herself.
If she is not already in a sleeping bag at night, I would advise getting her into one. This will avoid her waking from kicking her covers off and becoming cold and also from getting tangled in the bedding.
It’s worth looking at the amount of daytime sleep she is getting as too much could lead to night time waking. Her morning nap should be 30 minutes and her lunchtime sleep a strict two hours.

Nightmares and sudden fears are common in children of this age and it can be very frustrating for parents when the cause seems so irrational. It is pointless trying to convince your son that the monster isn’t real. A child of this age will not be capable of grasping the difference between dreaming and reality. I have found that the best approach is to work out a plan to deal with the monster. You could send him on holiday or say a magic spell to make him disappear.
Monitor the stories and videos he is reading or watching. Even apparently harmless characters can appear frightening to a child under three and can trigger nightmares.
You need to be careful that the wrong sleep associations don’t develop at this stage. Fear of going to bed or of the dark can quickly escalate. If he is sleeping in a cot still and using delaying tactics at bedtime, use the checking method so he doesn’t feel you are abandoning him. For the first few nights, go into his room and reassure him you are there every 10 minutes until he falls asleep. You can gradually lengthen the time between checks until he back to sleeping properly again. A small night-light can also help to reassure him and allay his fears of the dark.
Keeping the bath and bedtime routine calm and consistent will go a long way towards overcoming the problem. Read some gentle and comforting stories. Combine this with quiet checks and a dim light or story tape and you will help him get back to going to sleep by himself.

If it is at all possible to borrow or buy another cot for the baby I would strongly advise this. I usually recommend leaving toddlers in their cots until they are three. If you transfer your daughter to the big bed before she is ready she is likely to get up in the night or wake early. The last thing you will need with a new baby is your older child waking as well.
The arrival of a new baby can often cause toddlers who have previously slept well to wake up. If yours does, go to her and reassure her that you are there. Try to keep it brief though and don’t get into a conversation. Making time for your toddler during the day when the baby is asleep will help her to feel secure and accept the big change in her life.
Keep your toddler in her sleeping bag as well as in the cot if you can as this will prevent her from getting up in the night if she is woken by the baby crying. If she can get out of bed when she wakes it could become a serious problem when she looks to you for the things the baby is getting – a cuddle and a feed.